I’ve always been oddly obsessed with couples that work together and wondered how they do it. Jay-Z and Beyonce, The Obamas, my massive film-maker-duo crush The Mercandantes, I’m a sucker for their LOVE and their WORK. I’ve admired from afar their mutual respect, and always wondered how they handle giving each other feedback (without it being personal and crushing the other persons soul).
See my husband and I both work in media production, but for years, he said he would never work with me. But when we decided to have a family, I transitioned into becoming an independent producer, and the opportunity arose organically for us to work together on a few projects.
We shot a crazy web series down in LA about a home renovation. We filmed a short film about our family in 8 days over Christmas. And most recently I was my husband’s production coordinator – handling contracts, finding locations, sending out call sheets, etc – for the hilarious This is That videos. And after a year of working together, oh how the tables have turned. Now he says he never wants to do a project without me!
Now I have by no means figured out any secret to making it work (recently I broke the cardinal rule of bringing up a work thing in bed and I had the most guilt-ridden sleep of my life), but I have realized at least one thing worth sharing: Being able to support one another FULLY, has been worth the risks that people often associate with working with your spouse.
Yes we have terrible moments where letting each other down in work is the absolute worst feeling, negative feedback is tough, and days were it feels like it’s just a bit too much. But in an age where it feels like the work/life lines are already so blurred (thanks SMARTPHONES) and where we are both trying our best to balance parenthood and work, being able to fully know/acknowledge/understand/support each others struggles of our jobs has made it work for us, and beyond that, thrive to the point where we wouldn’t want it any other way. (And this study shows that it might not just be me that loves it!). Basically we don’t give each other grief over a time-consuming deadlines that make one of us miss dinner or force us to work on weekends, and we do our best to take advantage of the slower times.
So, anyone else have thoughts on working with your partner? Please share your secrets! (And here are some tips from The New York Times for “co-preneurs”.)
And in case you missed them, be sure to watch all 6 episodes of the latest CBC This is That web series, that I was lucky enough to work with my husband and a bunch of other insanely talented people on (and bonus, episode 6 features that other thing him and I collaborated on: our BABY!):
Episode 6: COMMUTER
Episode 5: RIDERLESS BIKES
Episode 4: WATER SMUGGLER
Episode 3: THOUGHT LEADER
Episode 2: MASTER ACTOR CLASS
Episode 1: COOKS