Another phrase (in addition to this one!) that I personally believe needs to be abolished from the journey of parenthood (and that I find I say far too much) is: “My baby never does this!“, in response to my baby’s freak out or fussiness when visiting with friends.
I would say it when my baby girl was a newborn, and I even caught myself saying it at her first birthday party! I really don’t like when I hear myself saying it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason I say this is two-fold:
#1. I want friends to love my baby. Especially friends that don’t get to see her often, I want them to feel a bond with her. I want them to get joy from her. I want them to think she is amazing.
#2. And the much harder one to admit – I want people to think we’re doing a good job as parents. Obviously I know it’s totally not fair, but deep down I think that is a big part of trying to get my babe to perform or being embarrassed when she isn’t the perfect child when visiting with friends.
So to fellow parents (and mainly myself), this is a reminder to not put pressure on your babe to “perform”. They are just a baby, and not a show dog.
And to friends, if you want to make a new-parent feel good and relaxed when visiting with you, right off the bat just say: “I love you and your baby so much, and I think he or she is amazing, and on top of that, I think you are doing a kick-ass job at this whole parenting thing.”
So here is just another Friday reminder to not be too hard on ourselves, or our little ones, because we are all just doing our best…and everyone is allowed to cry at their own party if they want to.