PROPERTY VIRGINS: Our first offer on a house (AKA Getting my heart broken by a house)

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Not to be over dramatic, but last week I had my heartbroken. By a house.

The heartbreak felt as intense as TEEN heartbreak. I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe. All I wanted to eat was pints of ice cream. And I actually felt that I didn’t want to look at other houses in fear of being hurt again.

But let me explain.

Last Sunday at 6 am, Chris flew to Toronto. A few hours later, a friend told me a house we’d seen on the market last week was having an open house. I called Chris and said “that house we saw online last week when we were in Victoria had their offer fall through, so it’s back on the market.” He said “GO LOOK AT IT!”. I didn’t really see the point, as he would be gone for 8 days and what was I going to do, put in our first ever offer on a house without him?

Which is exactly what I did.

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When I walked in, the place was perfect. It was everything we could want in our first home. I immediately called Chris and said we need to make a move on this. I gave him a FaceTime tour (thank god for technology) and he agreed.

We called our real estate agent (the amazing Gabe Bandel), and he made the arrangements to come back at 6:30 pm to view it with me. After a walk through with him and my brother (for family support), we went to a coffee shop, went over all the paperwork (comparative analysis, strata info, etc) and put in our offer THAT NIGHT.

AND SO BEGAN the negotiations. Long story short, after a few emotional back and forth offers, at the end of the day, we were out bid.

This is not a new story, but I think I realized something very important in this process that I need to share with the Grown-Up Party community.

On one hand, you are told not to fall in love with the house, but you HAVE TO in order to justify taking the leap and putting in your offer.

On the other hand, the times I tried my best to have the mentality that “there will always be another house”, I would immediately start doubting if the house we put the offer on was the right house for us, and are we willing to spend that much on that particular place?

So I found myself constantly teetering between “DOUBT” and “LOVE”, and both felt dangerous. Being the emotional person I am, “LOVE” won out in the end, and hence the heartbreak.

I’m not trying to discourage anyone, but I think this would have been helpful to know before going through this process. This was my first house heartbreak, so fingers crossed it will be my worst. And I definitely think it was compounded by the fact that Chris was out of town for the whole time so I was feeling especially vulnerable. But now I know the process. I understand the emotional roller coaster and the mind games, the ups and downs that will come with the house hunting and bidding process.

Being a grown-up is not always a party. I’ve learned a lot in the past week and although it hasn’t been easy, it’s been important. And also like teen heartbreak, the moment a cute boy (or in my case a HOUSE) walks by, I’m sure I’ll immediately fall in love with it and get ready to have my heart broken all over again.

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