THE VERDICT: Changing my last name after getting married

A few months back, I wrote about whether or not I should change my surname post-wedding. I can’t tell you how many people told me they have struggled with the same question, and although there were many strong, wise opinions offered, I still agonized over (as have many others) with what to do.

So I have to say I still question my decision, but I feel I owe an explanation of what I actually decided:

I’m not Lauren Bercovitch Kelly.┬áProfessionally I am Lauren Bercovitch, personally I am Lauren Kelly. Let me further explain.

At work, and when I write, my name is Lauren Bercovitch. It is what I have built my career in, it is unique, and it is memorable (I mean it sounds like the word BITCH is in my name!). It’s like a screen name or pen name, but I am basically doing the reverse of what movie stars do! Instead of trading in a very Jewish sounding name for an easily pronounceable name, I’m choosing to keep my character-strong-name instead of the simple-to-spell option.

But at home, I’m Lauren Kelly. This name doesn’t have a strong presence … yet … but I imagine once we have kids (far into the future!) at PTA meetings, soccer games, and when I’m running the school play I will be known in my community as Lauren Kelly.

So you might be wondering about the most important name-related question: Why are you still Lauren Bercovitch on Facebook? Well, little did you probably realize, but over the last year my Facebook has evolved into Grown-Up Party’s Facebook, so it makes sense to keep it under my “pen name”. But beyond that, I have very consciously decided that Lauren Kelly will NOT HAVE AN ONLINE PERSONA, at all. She will exist in real time, but not on instagram, facebook, twitter, or google+ (yah right – no one uses that anyways).

Because in a time where we all exist online and therefore inherently are forced to craft online versions of who we are (whether you realize it or not, that is what you are doing), I would like a part of me to not have to do that. A little slice of life kept sacred, just for me and my family, no matter how confusing the two-name system may be.

[Top image by Marcus Jolly]