Seriously, all human people should read this article. I very rarely blog anymore and after reading this article I felt overwhelmingly compelled to share it immediately and encourage everyone I know to read it.
The gist is that men don’t (commonly) have spaces specifically to share their emotions, and therefore the burden then (commonly) falls on their partner as their sole source of support. And that is both exhausting and unfair – TO EVERYONE.
I often think about how I feel very supported (due to safe spaces I’ve fostered including my book club, my women’s business mastermind, and my therapist!), and yet my partner (and many cis-men in my life!) don’t have anyone to share their emotions with. (And let me be clear, I mean a safe space to share emotions, NOT spew hate in an incel or “men’s rights” kind of way).
So if any cis-men are wondering how to be an ally to womxn and crush toxic masculinity, I urge you to consider this very practical and reasonable action: FORM A MEN’S BOOK CLUB (or any group where the focus isn’t about work or sports but based in discussion of emotions). Take some of the emotional labour off the women in your life, and check in with each other. You won’t magically dismantle the fucking patriarchy, but it’s a good place to start.
And NOT so seriously, every human person should watch this show I produced last year, HUMAN PEOPLE, and specifically this episode on toxic masculinity called Cuddle Bro. I personally guarantee you will have a good laugh, learn some new cuddle positions, AND get a lesson in exactly how NOT to effectively crush toxic masculinity:
And if you like that, be sure to check out the other episodes, Method Extra and The Chill Factor! I even make a cameo as an ASMR creator 😉